Jolly old England’s had unjolly Prince Andrew’s “Who’s Jeffrey Epstein?”, brothers William and Harry as cuddly as Harvey and Bob Weinstein, Her Majesty slowly ceding to son Charles, CV attacking all but Big Ben, plus there’s always Boris Johnson’s hairdo — comes now hell hath no fury like an actress unemployed.

Out in London today, Lady Colin Campbell’s book “Meghan and Harry: The Real Story.” Note who gets top billing. It calls her “an operator.” It also calls her lots more. It calls him “pathetic.” It also calls him lots more. And don’t anyone get their knickers in a twist because Pegasus releases this 400-page scorcher in the US next month. The cover is them together.

Chapter 1: Campbell claims MM immediately “jettisoned British traditions that didn’t suit her” … she showed such rock-solid self-importance that Prince Philip nicknamed her Tungsten … although a divorcee, she defied palace dictum of cream color for anyone previously married and insisted on a virginal white wedding gown.

Andrew’s kid Princess Eugenie was to be a bride wearing — per Queen Elizabeth’s promise — an emerald and diamond tiara. The book alleges Me-Me-Meghan demanded exactly that tiara, demanded her own ceremony precede Eugenie’s, demanded Eugenie’s nuptials be postponed, even demanded Her Majesty break the promise that Eugenie might wear that headpiece. Eugenie later wore an emerald tiara at her wedding.

The book has encyclopedic chapters on baby Prince Archie. Also examples that Miss Me-Me knew what she wanted long before grabbing the role of Mrs. Harry.

I know the author Campbell. Georgie, friends call her, is no shrunken violet. She knows from courts and lawsuits. However, she’s acquainted with every royal going back to Catherine the Great. She also knows from best sellers like her Princess Diana bios. And she said: “I go into everything surrounding her pregnancy and everything has been minutely vetted by lawyers. I have spoken to courtiers, Romeos, princes, princesses, relations, friends in detail. Knowing she intended to marry him from the word go, they were desperate to talk. Still, I bent over backwards to be positive.”

Campbell claims: “She’s a total opportunist. She knew in advance she’d embark on commercial ventures, which royalty strictly prohibits. She now has what she wanted — a millionaire’s life in Hollywood. She’s caused Harry to lose most of his friends. He’s weaker than she. He’s run ragged. Despite the sex, she will make his life miserable. He has no strength of character to leave her.”

It’s not a bad read.

No shortage of these books

Moustachio’d John Blowton also wrote a book after serving under the Bush presidents. It’s what he does. Beats working for a living. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, ex-White House press secretary, savaged Bolton on TV then repeatedly plugged her own blab-a-thon, which gets published in September.

Recall a previous Trump White House press secretary? Sean Spicer? Who also smudged out his memoir?

Plus Steve Bannon, Jeanine Pirro, Bob Woodward, Omarosa Manigault Newman, Michael Wolff, Howard Kurtz — and someday maybe something from Adam BullSchiff. At least his screw-all could balance the short leg of a bridge table.

One librarian listed 2.5 titles creep out about Trump monthly. The Guardian collated 4,500 English-language titles so far. The vast number of publications on Barack total 10. Probably including his wife’s, 11.

If candidate Biden locates his blue-lined high-school composition pad and can feel his way out of the basement, we might yet get a pamphlet from him.